Getting Motivated

Are you motivated to want to change?


When you face a problem or situation that is unfamiliar to you, what do you do? Research has shown that you are likely to face the problem or situation, or you retreat to what is familiar or known. You may be unable to move towards new situations and lose the opportunity for new learning, new friendships and even new meaning for your life.

Perhaps you seek new situations or take on new problems on purpose, with the idea that you should do it. I challenge my clients to not ‘should’ on themselves; should suggests that they have been told to do something that they are acting to please or satisfy someone else. I ask my clients to consider using the word ‘want’ when they talk about future actions. Just a small word but for my clients it may lead to action that is driven by the client not by others. Try it yourself – Every time you say (or think) I should…. Try I want… Notice the difference?

How can you move your efforts from Should to Want?


Try this (if you want to):
  1. Identify an activity or issue that you have been considering for some time.
  2. Write a statement describing the situation and what you feel about the activity.
  3. Note the words you use to describe the issue.
For example, for those of you thinking of changing your career or transitioning to part-time work, the statement may read “I know that for me to make the change I must have enough money to carry me over until I get a new job. I will have to spend time rewriting my resume. I will have to work on building a better network. I spent all my money at a seminar that told me I better make use of what I learned about getting online. But I hate the idea of spending more time every day on the computer, or being on my own. I’d much rather be talking to people in person about my field of expertise which is also my passion. I have enjoyed getting other people’s ideas about a new career and lifestyle and to date it has been very enjoyable for me.”

The Three Buckets Exercise


1.        Imagine there are three buckets for sorting out your activities or issues: the buckets are labelled Musts, Wants and Shoulds.

The Musts are the things that are basic requirements of life like person hygiene, paying the bills, going to work to support your family, and taking on other responsibilities.

The Wants are things that you love to do, are passionate about, that give you pleasure or a sense of well being and you’re easily drawn toward spending time doing.

In the third bucket are the Shoulds. These are the activities that you think about a lot; that is, you do not do anything about them.

2.        Review the activities you have described in the exercise above and decide in which bucket they fit.

Using the example above, fill the buckets as follows:

MUST: I must have enough money to carry me over until I get a new job.

WANT: I’d much rather be talking to people in person about my field of expertise which is also my passion.

SHOULD:  I better make use of what I learned. I will have to spend time rewriting my resume. I will have to work on building a better network.

The trick to working with the three buckets is moderating the amount of time you spend on the Must activities and reducing the number of Shoulds in your life. When you manage these two buckets you’ll spend more of your time with your Want activities that give you energy and a sense of time well spent.

Reducing your Should bucket


Reducing the other bucket, the Should bucket, may increase the meaningful time you spend with the rest of your life. There are two steps to reduce the Shoulds:

1.        Identify each of the Shoulds and assess whether each one will contribute something positive to your life. If you answer no, drop the activity off your action list.

2.        If you answer yes, consider is there another way that will turn the activity into a Must or a Want.

Using the example above, consider what you want to do to get that job or lifestyle you want. For example, you may develop your knowledge of social networking with online tools such as Facebook and LinkedIn to build contacts and follow up with face to face conversations and possibly interviews. The result is that you empty your Should bucket and replace with more entries in the Want bucket.

MUST: I must have enough money to carry me over until I get a new job.

WANT: I’d much rather be talking to people in person about my field of expertise which is also my passion. I will attend some online training sessions to learning about social networking and using online relationship tools to build my network. I have a plan to get my new job and lifestyle within the next 12 months.

SHOULD: no entries.

Keep the vision of what you want for yourself and focus on balancing your Must and Want buckets.

Can you work through these steps on your own?

Are you ready to consider your activities in three buckets? Are you confident to make a start on your approach to leading a life pursuing what you Want?  

Contact us for a complimentary consultation to focus on your future desires. We work with you to discover what you want for your life as you grow and develop. It will be the best 30 minutes you spend to get started on leading your life on purpose.

Reference

Radu, M 2010, Pathmaker Coaching, retrieved 30 April 2010, <http://www.pathmakercoaching.com>

© 2010 Helene Strawbridge, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the Second Half Success material in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read: By Helene Strawbridge of Second Half Success. Please visit Helene’s web site at www.secondhalfsuccess.com.au for additional articles and resources. (Make sure the link is live if placed in an newsletter or in a web site.)