Planning your ethical will
What legacy will you leave?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do, with your one wild and precious life? Mary Oliver, The Summer Day
Have you observed that people who live the longest and happiest lives appear to be those who develop integrity and positive self-awareness? Leider and Shapiro (2008) propose that people who find their own satisfaction do so through giving to others, whether they are individuals, community or in the name of a cause. People, perhaps including you, continue to have hope and find meaning and fulfilment in whatever they do. They lead lives full of hope even as they age, become disabled or otherwise limited as they grow older. Yet as they consider the inevitability of dying, they want to leave more than money and other assets for their loved ones. They plan their ethical will.
What is an ethical will?
Your plan for bequeathing your assets may come to the fore as you grow older also. An ordinary will or last testament mainly concerns the disposition of your material possessions after death. An ethical will, by contrast, has to do with non-material gifts; the values and life lessons that you wish to leave to others.
An ethical will is a document that in contrast to the traditional will, tells those you love what you want them to have, lays out for them what you want them to know or to be. Such a will can be anything from a letter to a memoir to an artwork, even a video that enables you to communicate with your survivors the essence of what you see your legacy to be. Often, it provides a personal history (or series of important stories) and messages to loved ones about the values you hope they carry on.
An ethical will may be your moral legacy, your advice on how to lead a good life and hold true to the values you hold dear also. The will may be your blessing or life lessons you wish to share with family, friends and the world at large.
When do you plan/start an ethical will?
Weil (2005) advises that you can and should write an ethical will. You can choose to share it while you are alive, or leave your thoughts for your loved ones to share after you are gone. Regardless of your age, an ethnical will can be an exercise that makes you take stock of your life experience. You can focus on the details you want and offer the values and wisdom that you have gained. You can then put the document aside, read it over as the years pass, and revise from time to time as you see fit. Certainly, an ethical will can be a wonderful gift to leave to your family at the end of your life. Andrew Weil suggests that the main importance of your ethical will is what it can provide you in the midst of your busy and purposeful life in the present. In his book he publishes some of the content of his own ethical will.
One extract reads, “Finally, I want to extend to you my blessing and wishes for graceful, healthy ageing as you advance in years. I hope that you will discover and enjoy the benefits that ageing can bring: Wisdom, depth of character, the smoothing out of what is rough and harsh, the evaporation of what is inconsequential, and the concentration of true worth. And, don’t forget to wear decent clothing; it’s not good to go around shabbily dressed”.
Where do you start?
For those of you, who have access to the internet; look at www.ethicalwill.com for advice and guidance.
Start with some core questions: Where did I come from, What am I doing here? What is my purpose? Where am I going? Your answers to these questions form your philosophy or outlook on life and shape your behaviour and guide to the way you make your way in the world.
Your may begin, “I believe….” Richard Leider (2008) provides some ideas: “Meaning is not invented, but discovered; our purpose in life is to give moment-to-moment meaning to life through self-transcendence and service; Purpose joins self and service into something to live for, a reason to get up in the morning…”.
You may begin, “I, being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath the following to my children, their children, and their children for as long as any memory of me shall remain in the hearts and minds of those who live on after me…”
Can you work through these steps on your own?
Are you ready to make a start – to plan and then write (and review and rewrite) your ethical will? Are you comfortable with the review and plan? What if help were available to get you ready and willing to make your ethical will?
Contact us for a complimentary consultation to assist you with the plan. We work with you to discover what is important and what you want to reflect and offer. It will be the best 30 minutes you spend to get started on leading your life on purpose.
References
Leider, RJ & Shapiro, DA 2008, Something to live for: Finding your way in the second half of life, Barrett-Koehler Publishers, San Francisco.
Weil, A 2005, Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to your Physical and Spiritual Well-Being, Alfred A. Knopf, New York.
Ethical Wills: Preserving Your Legacy of Values, retrieved 20 November 2010, <www.ethicalwill.com>
© 2010 Helene Strawbridge, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the Second Half Success material in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read: By Helene Strawbridge of Second Half Success. Please visit Helene’s web site at www.secondhalfsuccess.com.au for additional articles and resources. (Make sure the link is live if placed in an newsletter or in a web site.)
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