 To your second half transition
Your mid-life transition
Consider your life as a series of transitions – from childhood to adolescence, to young adulthood, middle adulthood and older adulthood. While earlier transitions have been well researched and documented, it is the transition in mid-life that is the least examined.
So let’s take a look for ourselves.
Mid-life transition, as for any development stage, is likely to demonstrate inner conflict for you. As for any change there is an inner energy, a burst of power and enthusiasm, that accompanies this change. Often the change is viewed positively where time can be taken to reflect what is happening, what is possible and what choices you have, to work through the change. Certainly, change may bring also dissatisfaction, unrest and uncertainty but with a positive approach adaptation can be made.
Carl Jung, a contemporary of Freud, observed that our lives could be divided into two halves. “We cannot live the afternoon of life according to the programme of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening, and what in the morning was true, will at evening have become a lie.’
What is the difference between these two halves?
Jung believed that middle and old age, like youth, have specific developmental tasks. While the developmental tasks for youth involve turning outward and engaging life, the goal for the mature you is to consolidate your conscious and unconscious parts of yourself. In other words, the primary task in the first half of life is to develop and adapt to your outer world and thus fit into society. You study, find employment, form relationships and move through your life with a social cohort of like minded people. For the second half of your life the task is to adapt to your inner world; that is, to discover who you really are and then create an environment to suit your unique self.
How are you likely to feel in making this transition?
Think about your own first half of life – have you been busy with your multiple roles? Are you in a long term relationship, perhaps with children? Have family, school and allied community activities occupied a large part of your time and energy? In your first half of life, you have been dedicated and committed to your career or work; again, this has taken much of your energy. What about your other roles? Those of your relationship with parents and in-laws, brothers and sisters, friends, and community roles – all have taken your time and energy.
These roles may have provided fulfilment for a time but as the transition to your second half beckons, you may be feeling overwhelmed and disengaged. These feelings may extend to your health – you may experience changes in your physical well-being and even your mental health. Seek professional support during this transition; complementary support may be found with friends or groups who are experiencing these changes also.
Will you feel loss as well as excitement about this transition?
It has been observed that mid-life is by far the most challenging and exciting time of people’s lives. The transition is full of many strong emotions as you experience it. Letting go of what has served you well but is not relevant now- this may be painful. Whether the letting go is of people, work, activities and interests you have had, acknowledge that there is loss. Every new beginning may mean despair, boredom, joy, anger, sorrow and excitement.
Embrace this transition – when you move to this inner world of your second half, you may try meditation, experience dreams, start or continue writing, develop creative pursuits or just ‘be’ – George Vaillant, a Harvard professor who studied men and women over a 70 year life span, suggested that the goal of your second half is ‘learning how to maintain self-respect, while letting go of self-importance.’
How can you move through this transition successfully?
This transition offers you the opportunity to explore profound questions such as “Who am I?’ and “What is it I want from my life now?’ Work on your answers knowing that they may not appear quickly and that you will spend time exploring possibilities. Enjoy the journey and the people and experiences you have along the way.
Can you do all this on your own? What if you could succeed in making this transition for your second half?
Contact us for a complimentary consultation to discuss this second half transition. We work with you to discover what you want for your active life as you age. It will be the best 30 minutes you spend in finding out what is possible for you.
References
Kelleher, K 1992, The afternoon of life: Jung’s view of the tasks of the second half of life, Perspective Psychiatry Care, Apr-Jun, 28(2), pp. 25-28.
Vaillant, G, 2002, Ageing Well, Scribe: Carlton North: Victoria.
Vickers-Willis, R 2002, Navigating Midlife: women becoming themselves. Allen and Unwin, Sydney: NSW.
© 2009 Helene Strawbridge, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the Second Half Success material in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read: By Helene Strawbridge of Second Half Success. Please visit Helene’s web site at www.secondhalfsuccess.com.au for additional articles and resources. (Make sure the link is live if placed in an newsletter or in a web site.)
|
